dear hiring manager.

I'm just saying... I'm available.

Career Objective: To secure a placement in the field of blaque communications that will challenge my community relations skills, as well as give me the essential experience and tools needed to succeed in the field of interracial hobnobbing.

Qualifications:

1) At 5 ft nothing I would, even in heels, be suitably below eye-level for all those who think Tom Cruise is statuesque.
2) I’ve been told I eat like a bird so I’ll keep my pesky hands off the ors d’oeuvres (not making the same promise for attractive waiters).
3) I have seen most Spike Lee movies so I can help with references and/or catch phrases.
4) I’m ESL (Ebonics as a Second Language) so I can act as a deciphering liaison between you and other bl-accessories.
5) I have had years of tokenism experience* and can easily adapt to high-paced, multi-tasking environments.

* References available upon request.