" awkward is: beautiful/sublime self-deprication/moments of complete truths/subconscious bravery/where falsities fall away/fun wrapped in situ/ awkard is: human. "
With whimsy. With upside downs, inside outs, tantrums, curls, slip ups, mishaps and baubles. With cakes and ices, creams and salves. With picture drawings, drawing boards, board games and game nights. With words.
"Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice" - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Carrol
Inspired by a show I can't help but watch (and love- CB call me) these rap comedians seem to take a certain mystery lady's XOXO's to heart. Plus, they clearly have a lot of time on their hands/ actually dedicatedly watch the show because a majority of their references are dead on. Be sure to note the "Mars, Veronica" part especially.
Every so often you come across the kind of article that makes you wonder just how painfully earnest journalists can be. So eager to find the best angle for a story that has been told a number of times already, they sit doubled over key boards as the minutes gather into hourly clumps. It's all about keeping it fresh, real and, most of all, objective. Right?
Somewhere across the pond, one writer in particular came across a video clip that sent him into a tailspin of emotion. He had it! The incident he later dubbed "global disaster" involved a Britt, a couple of glorified metal bookends and a lot of tears:
Apparently Winslet's acceptance speech (really, it was more like an inauguration to respect in the acting world after five nominations) made one journalist seethe 'How DARE she???' and write the hilariously convoluted piece housing such gems as:
" The problem, I think, is the primetime airing of awards shows on network TV... Because awards shows are broadcast on the same medium - and treated as news - an equivalence is created, no matter how unfair. Which means that in times such as these, actors and actresses risk appearing extraordinarily isolated from reality if they do a Winslet after winning a gong. "
Yes, because the fragility of the collective American psyche is hinged on the opinions of the Hollywood elite, who are so connected to their own personal reality. Escapism, anyone?
"Also, if Barack Obama can hold it together in Chicago on election night, then surely Winslet - a professional actress - can tone it down in LA on Golden Globes night."
Apparently, actors are now equivalent to politicians with a posse of advanced orators writing their speeches.
"Indeed, part of me wonders if Winslet was simply hamming it up for the Americans, as such public displays of emotion are hardly in the British DNA."
Did you know that emotions were inheritable? Like Down's and hemophilia. Figure it out in one of those Punett squares.
Maybe she shouldn't have spoken so "off the cuff", yelled at the teleprompter guy (is that a job?) and borderline proclaimed her heart would go on for Leo, but she won a damn Golden Globe- let the girl celebrate. I'm sure America can handle it.
I know it's really meta to blog about a blog but I just love coming across people with the kind of humour grandmothers across the universe would never attest to- rage against all things cute and furry.
Par example:
"What. The. Fuck. I don't even know what to say, Platypus. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. You're like some kind of anti-drug message, designed to make high people totally freak the fuck out. You are so weird, Platypus, that they don't even have a universally agreed-upon word for the plural form of you. That's because if you see two of these animals(?) together, the fabric of space and time will literally tear apart. Remind me to never close my eyes again, Platypus, you duck-billed asshole."
Career Objective: To secure a placement in the field of blaque communications that will challenge my community relations skills, as well as give me the essential experience and tools needed to succeed in the field of interracial hobnobbing. Qualifications:
1) At 5 ft nothing I would, even in heels, be suitably below eye-level for all those who think Tom Cruise is statuesque. 2) I’ve been told I eat like a bird so I’ll keep my pesky hands off the ors d’oeuvres (not making the same promise for attractive waiters). 3) I have seen most Spike Lee movies so I can help with references and/or catch phrases. 4) I’m ESL (Ebonics as a Second Language) so I can act as a deciphering liaison between you and other bl-accessories. 5) I have had years of tokenism experience* and can easily adapt to high-paced, multi-tasking environments.
I especially like stuff that relates to stuff that I like. If there's humour stuff involved then that's just an added bonus.
While killing time between fact-checking bouts at le work today I stumbled upon (and by stumbled I mean, was directed to by a fellow wordmonger) a lovely blog about stuff a certain group of people like. No, not that one. Similar name, different (albeit overlapping) demographic. Also hosted (and subsequently absorbed) by Wordpress, is Stuff Journalists Like which follows the same format as it's quite hilarious predecessor, and lists exactly that- covering everything from caffiene fixes and shorthand (which I have yet to attempt to grasp) to interns and Barack Obama. My personal favourite so far is #356, mainly because of these 9 words: “Help me, Wolf Blitzer, you are my only hope.”
I'm also the kind of gal that enjoys lists (yes, that kind) in case you haven't noticed.
So, the bigwigs (bigwhigs, rather) at UniOx joined forces and came up with a list of some of the most annoying phrases in the English language. Finally. There are quite a few things people say, and I don't mean ESL folks (or ETL, EFL... etc.), that come across as unintelligent, confusing and just plain lazy.
According to the new book these are the top ten most irritating phrases:
1 - At the end of the day 2 - Fairly unique 3 - I personally 4 - At this moment in time 5 - With all due respect 6 - Absolutely 7 - It's a nightmare 8 - Shouldn't of 9 - 24/7 10 - It's not rocket science
... and I don't know if I agree 100%. Annoying words like 'irregardless', and 'irrespective' are surprisingly missing in the tenner, and phrases like "in my humble opinion" (shut up, soapbox), "femme fatale" (shudder) and "easy as pie" (have you ever tried baking one? no? then shut up.) were allowed to slide. I don't know what the rest of the list looks like, but if those aren't on there then they need to do a recount.
While the idea of compiling a list of irritating phrases is absolutely fairly unique, I personally think that at this moment in time- and I mean this with all due respect- they shouldn't of bothered, because at the end of the day it's a nightmare trying to tell people how they should speak 24/7 even though technically, it's not rocket science.
